Losing and Finding My Father

Seasons of Grief, Healing and Forgiveness

Losing and Finding My Father is a memoir about the remarkable transformations I went through in the process of grieving my father’s death and healing my inner template for men.

It is a story of loss — loss of childhood trust, loss of self-esteem and desire for intimacy, loss of the father. It’s also a story of revelation — about finding my voice, softening emotional armor, forgiving the past, creating pathways to intimacy, and revising my life story.

Losing and Finding My Father corrects the misconception that surviving the death of a parent requires steeling oneself against the pain. The grieving process can be an epiphanous healing journey that eases the loss and, as well, provides a doorway into peacemaking. The purpose of Losing and Finding My Father is to inspire readers to believe that healing is possible — from both grief and the pain of a tormented childhood — and even more, to set forth with consciousness, intention, and heart into the turbulent emotions that are the seeds of this healing.

“If you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one who was a source of pain and challenges throughout your life, reach for Kira Freed’s book Losing and Finding My Father. Her poignant stories, processing tools, and personal healing will give you hope, guidance, and a way forward—through and beyond your own grief.”
— Carol McClelland, PhD, author of The Seasons of Change: Using Nature’s Wisdom to Grow Through Life’s Inevitable Ups and Downs

“Losing and Finding My Father is Kira Freed’s personal story, and this story is a teaching tale. In it, Kira shares her journey of resolving the effects of living with an abusive father whom she also loved deeply. Throughout, we are invited to share in the complex legacy of trauma intertwined with the healing opportunities that Kira courageously engaged. She also includes an appendix filled with a variety of approaches she used to support her healing—powerful resources and practices for anyone taking this journey.”
— Nancy J. Napier, LMFT, author of Getting Through the Day: Strategies for Adults Hurt as Children

“Kira has written a poignant and intimate account of her father’s dying and of her grief. In clear language she shares with us the struggles, pain, healings and even transformation that so many of us have experienced with the death of a parent. Reading her book will both comfort and inspire you.”
— Alexandra Kennedy, psychotherapist and author of Losing a Parent and The Infinite Thread