Achieve your dreams with
IFS coaching.
IFS life coaching, writing, and editing
A place for curiosity, inspiration, and possibility
Do you have a vision for your life, but something seems to be holding you back from reaching it?
Have you been trying to get that “something” to be quiet or go away so you can keep moving forward?
What if the key to overcoming obstacles is getting to know them and developing a relationship with them?
If what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked and you’re interested in a more effective and integrative approach to moving forward, my life coaching services may help.
My innovative approach to life coaching invites all your aspects to get on board in service of your vision and goals. Unlike traditional life coaching, my approach doesn’t push aside, ignore, or squelch parts of you that may not want to move ahead. Instead, I support you in offering respectful attention to them. With Internal Family Systems (IFS) coaching, we uncover their positive intent for you and factor their wisdom into your plans. As a result, moving toward your goals doesn’t require leaving behind or working in opposition to parts of you.
With IFS coaching, your different parts work in harmony toward a common goal.
My style of life coaching is a marriage of two powerful approaches—process coaching and Internal Family Systems℠, a cutting-edge psychological model developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz that’s quickly finding its way into a wide circle of applications. Read more about IFS.
Process coaching respectfully follows the trail of your inner process toward your vision, mindful that whatever we encounter along the way is our best guide on the journey to reaching your goals.
I invite you on a wonderful transformational adventure.
WENDY, NEBRASKA
“What I love about the coaching sessions with Kirin is that I don’t rely on someone else to do the work I need to do. I do the work. This has given me a tremendous sense of empowerment.”
01 THE BIG PICTURE
I work with coaching clients who want to focus on any of these topics:
Boundaries: Each of us ought to have received a handbook on boundaries on the day we were born. Instead, we usually learn by trial and error how we want and deserve to be treated, what’s our business and what isn’t, and how to celebrate our autonomy while also honoring our connections with others. Exploring boundaries in a coaching context is fertile ground that can create impactful, life-affirming shifts.
Transitions: Life transitions are best navigated with all radar switched on, attuned to possibilities that might be outside your habitual frame of reference. My life coaching supports you in exploring how to access and incorporate the clear perspective of your deepest wisdom as you move through a period of transition.
Life Purpose: I am a Certified Purpose Clarity™ Coach, trained through a program created by Carol McClelland Fields, PhD, that offers clients a step-by-step structure for discovering a new career direction or priority in their life. I’ve been through the process myself and can enthusiastically attest to its effectiveness! The process can also include overall self-care and life balance if desired.
Creativity: My life coaching can enhance connection to your inner wellspring of creativity, whether you’re feeling blocked or simply want to develop greater access to your intuition. I have training in expressive arts and for years was affiliated with The Painting Experience—transformational workshops in process painting. We can also explore creativity without the use of any art materials.
Writing: I offer coaching through the completion of a dissertation or book project as well as to access your “inner writer.” My publications include Gender Unburdening: Using Internal Family Systems to Heal from Gender Socialization and Losing and Finding My Father: Seasons of Grief, Healing, and Forgiveness (the second one under my previous name). I’ve also written 300+ nonfiction K–6 books for educational publishers.
“Kirin has helped me gain a tremendous amount of clarity and compassion for my life. She held the space for me to unlock my desires and identify my next steps. I really appreciated how intuitive she was throughout the process and how comfortable I felt opening up to her without feeling any judgment.”
SARAH, CALIFORNIA
02 WHO I WORK WITH
A few basics about life coaching . . .
Life coaching supports you in aligning your life with your highest goals and dreams. It helps you access your inner wisdom to design your life consistent with your core self.
If you have a goal or a vision, regardless of how distinct or fuzzy, a life coach can support you in mapping out the steps to get there.
The agenda of each life-coaching session is set by the client. You come to the session with a focus and a sense of what you want to take away. We work together to be sure you get what you came for, as well as several strategies for taking your new insights for a “test drive” to see how they work in your day-to-day life.
How is life coaching different from psychotherapy?
Unlike psychotherapy, which frequently focuses on the past and on what isn’t working, life coaching focuses on what is working and how to create more of it. Life coaching harnesses your strengths, skills, values, and dreams in the service of creating your life as you want it to be. If you’re feeling sparked to create new possibilities in your life, and if you’re ready to devote sustained energy in that direction, life coaching is probably right for you.
03 ABOUT COACHING
“I’ve worked with Kirin on and off for over four years. Her coaching has allowed me to clarify my goals and focus on the quality of life I want and deserve. Kirin’s intuitive and supportive style of coaching has helped me exponentially to improve my life with regard to marriage, child, work, friends, and family.”
JEN, UTAH
How is life coaching different from consulting?
A life coach is a partner and co-collaborator—not an expert. You are the expert on your life, and you gain valuable experience in accessing your expertise during every session. A life coach contributes observations, thought-provoking questions, and a variety of tools to support you in moving forward and attaining your goals. But it’s not the job of a professionally trained life coach to offer prescriptions or advice.
In short, life coaching isn’t about fixing a problem, it’s about creating a future—the best future you dream of for your life. Many people long for a partner in that journey, someone who will walk beside them and assist them in sorting through options, strategies, and possibilities. That’s the work of a life coach.
I invite you to join me on a wonderful, life-changing adventure.
"Life coaching is a professional relationship that supports people in achieving extraordinary results in their lives.”
—INTERNATIONAL COACHING FEDERATION
What does Internal Family Systems have to do with coaching?
People generally come to life coaching and wellness coaching with specific goals they want to attain. They may hope it’ll be a straight shot to achieving those goals, but it’s rarely that simple. Many types of coaching subscribe to the notion that obstacles are sabotaging parts that must be outsmarted, overridden, or completely ignored. The IFS Model suggests that these obstacles carry wisdom and positive intent—and that developing a relationship with them is the most fruitful way to work toward goals and achieve lasting success.
You’ll be amazed and empowered by this holistic approach to coaching.
“I appreciated Kirin’s ability to address my internal emotional reactions, not as a barrier to progress but as a valid guide to help shape the next steps. By the end of a session, we would have a plan that I knew I could complete, one that was in line with the goals of both my head and my heart.”
ELIZABETH, OREGON
04 ABOUT IFS
"IFS is more than a therapeutic technique. It is a conceptual framework and practice for developing love for ourselves and each other.”
—DR. RICHARD C. SCHWARTZ
Internal Family Systems℠ (IFS℠) is a cutting-edge, powerfully healing psychological model developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. Although its roots are in the world of psychotherapy, IFS is relevant to a wide circle of applications and can be a profound tool to “turbocharge” coaching.
Internal Family Systems recognizes that our psyches are comprised of different aspects (also called parts or subpersonalities). Each aspect has its own perspective, feelings, memories, motivations, and goals. For example, one part of you might feel drawn to do public speaking, while another part might be terrified of the prospect. We all have a range of parts that may include a pusher, a pleaser, a rebel, an abandoned child, an inner critic, and a devoted caretaker.
Internal Family Systems also recognizes that each of us has a Self—a spiritual center that is compassionate, resilient, and grounded. IFS supports people in developing Self-leadership, wherein the Self, rather than one or more parts, is in the leadership role in a person’s “inner system.” Clients, whether in a coaching or therapy context, learn how to regain Self-leadership if a part takes over.
Parts can become extreme because of trauma as well as general family dynamics. Yet at their core, parts always have positive intent, which can be discovered by giving them good attention and developing a relationship with them. As parts receive support, they release their need to express in extreme ways and revert to their preferred roles as positive, contributing aspects of our personality. As this happens, we become more balanced, and our inner system works more cooperatively and synergistically.
05 BOOKS
Losing and Finding My Father
Seasons of Grief, Healing and Forgiveness
(published under my previous name)
Gender Unburdening
Using Internal Family Systems to Heal from Gender Socialization
“Kirin Alolkoy’s Gender Unburdening is a book for anyone who’s ever felt the constraints of gender socialization. In other words, it’s for all of us.”
KIMBERLY DANIELS, PsyD, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST, CERTIFIED IFS THERAPIST
“Her poignant stories, processing tools, and personal healing will give you hope, guidance, and a way forward—through and beyond your own grief.”
CAROL McCLELLAND FIELDS, PhD, AUTHOR OF THE SEASONS OF CHANGE: USING NATURE'S WISDOM TO GROW THROUGH LIFE'S INEVITABLE UPS AND DOWNS
“Best proofreader/editor I have ever worked with, and I’ve worked with many. Meticulous, extremely knowledgeable, and thorough—she was born for this kind of work and does it extremely well.”
ANDREW NEITLICH, FOUNDER AND DIRECTOR, THE CENTER FOR EXECUTIVE COACHING
PATRICK WILLIAMS, EdD, MASTER CERTIFIED COACH, FOUNDER OF THE INSTITUTE FOR LIFE COACH TRAINING
“Kirin has edited for me for several years. She is thorough and quick, and her editing is the best! She takes my writing and makes it even better, offering an elegance of language as well as suggestions that are spot on. On top of all that, she is very easy to work with. I recommend her highly.”
“The grammar gods sent you to me.”
LAWRENCE INENO, MIGHTYPROSE GHOSTWRITING & COPYWRITING
In addition to my work as a life coach and writer, I’m a line editor, copy editor, proofreader, and layout artist with a long history in printing and publishing. I support authors in polishing and publishing their materials by making sure ideas are clear, language flows well, and presentation is professional in order to enhance the reader’s experience.
I’ve worked in printing and publishing for 40+ years and have worked for daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly publications as well as educational publishers, print shops, and many long-term freelance clients. I’ve worked with editorial content as well as design/production. I’m also a prolific K–6 writer for educational publishers.
Notable editing clients have included:
Dr. Richard Schwartz, Founder of Internal Family Systems Therapy℠
Dr. Jay Earley & Bonnie Weiss, IFS℠ Therapists, Authors, & Teachers
Robert Falconer, IFS Consultant, Teacher, & Author
Dr. Patrick Williams, Master Certified Coach & Founder of The Institute for Life Coach Training
Andrew Neitlich, Founder & Director of The Center for Executive Coaching
Yan Ming Li, Qigong Master Practitioner & Instructor, Founder of Whole Body Prayer
Please note that I don’t do developmental and structural editing, which are about the overall structure, content, and the logical flow of ideas. I do do line editing, copy editing, and proofreading, which have to do with grammar, word choice, spelling, punctuation, writing quality, and the flow of the language. I add comments if I have questions or concerns about content, but my main focus is on polishing the language and final product to perfection.
I also partner with a colleague who creates eBook versions and has a veritable wealth of information about self-publishing on Amazon (Kindle Direct Publishing), IngramSpark, and other platforms. I’ve been partnering with him since 2015 and highly recommend his services. I can connect you with him, if desired.
07 EDITING
Empowerment and presence are at the core of my work as a life coach and purpose coach. I support you in becoming more awake, aware, and alive in your relationship with yourself because attunement to the present moment is the foundation out of which new possibilities may arise. Together we “grow” a vision for your life that feels authentic and resonant—and then explore the best path to reaching it. The process not only moves you toward your vision, but it also cultivates essential life skills related to self-awareness, self-compassion, and standing in your truth.
I used to practice as a psychotherapist, for which I received a solid theoretical foundation enhanced by training that integrated the experiential and spiritual dimensions into the growth process. As a result, my life coaching is practical and grounded while also including the “bigger picture” guidance of your deepest wisdom.
Certifications/Licenses
Certified Life Coach, 2007
Certified Wellness Coach, 2008
Board Certified Coach, 2011
Certified Purpose Clarity Coach, 2021
Licensed Professional Mental Health Counselor, 1996 (inactive)
Certificate in Equity & Diversity, 2022
Certificate in Nonfiction Writing, 1999
Education
Life Coaching Certification Program (130 hours) and Advanced Coursework, Institute for Life Coach Training
Internal Family Systems℠ Professional Trainings, Levels 1, 2, 3
Purpose Clarity™ Coaching Certification Program
Master’s in Integral Counseling Psychology, California Institute of Integral Studies
Master’s in Anthropology, University of Colorado–Boulder
Bachelor’s in Anthropology, Oakland University
Equity & Diversity Certificate Program, University of Minnesota
Nonfiction Writing Certificate Program, University of Washington–Seattle
“Kirin has a tremendous amount of wisdom and compassion. She is intuitive and authentic. I think of Kirin as a wonderful companion who is traveling with me on my journey of self-discovery. She helps me to see the gems that are already there, waiting to be unearthed.”
SUZANNE, CALIFORNIA
08 ABOUT
09 THE GEESE
Other cool facts about geese:
Geese use the same migration route year after year. Young geese learn the route from their parents.
Geese are monogamous for life unless their mate dies.
Geese commonly fly as fast as 50 miles per hour.
Bar-headed geese, the world’s highest-altitude migrating birds, fly over Mount Everest at an altitude of about 30,000 feet.
While migrating, geese can travel more than 620 miles in a single day. If their migration route took them around the world at the equator, they could make the trip in about 40 days.
The way geese fly in a V formation is a nice metaphor for how the aspects of a personality can work together toward a common goal. Each goose is unique, yet they all cooperate harmoniously to get where they’re going. Cooperation lightens the load for all of them; working together, they can move faster and maintain flight much longer than an individual goose could alone. Studies suggest that “a flock of 25 birds in formation can fly as much as 70% further than a solo bird using the same amount of energy.” Read more about the aerodynamics of goose flight here.
In a V formation, different geese take turns at the front—the hardest position because there’s nothing to reduce wind resistance. When the lead goose gets tired, it falls back and another goose takes over at the front. The geese work synergistically, respectful of each bird’s capacities and limitations.
In personal growth, the Self is ideally leading the way for the rest of the flock (your different aspects, or parts), who look to it for guidance. My coaching supports you in helping your geese get in alignment with your lead goose so that all your aspects can work together toward your highest vision for your life.
If a goose gets injured during a migration, other geese stay behind to care for it until it has recovered enough to resume the trip. Similarly, if you have an aspect (or more than one) that, for some reason, isn’t “on board,” we don’t abandon it—we give it caring attention and see what it needs, always with confidence that at its core is positive intent.
Please use this form to contact me about a free initial consultation. I look forward to connecting with you and exploring how IFS coaching may be of service.
Please note that I only coach by phone or WhatsApp audio (not video or in person).
You can also reach me at: k f 7 a l a s k a AT g m a i l DOT com
10 CONTACT
© 2026 Kirin Alolkoy. All rights reserved.
Serving clients globally ~ Based in Portugal
My life coaching services utilize the Internal Family Systems℠ (IFS℠) framework strictly for self-exploration, personal development, and goal alignment. This work is not a substitute for clinical diagnosis or mental health therapy. Clients requiring clinical psychological care are encouraged to work with a licensed therapist.